1. My grandma and I

When my father was a teenager, he left Shanghai for Xinjiang to work as an accountant in order to support the construction of Xinjiang. 

My mother was born in Henan and worked as a farmer in Xinjiang. After retirement, they went back to Shanghai. Now, they are leading their retired life in Shanghai.

I was born in Xinjiang. My grandma has five children including three sons and two daughters. I am the only boy in my generation. I have female cousins but no male cousins. It can be said that all Yang Qi of our family is concentrated on me. According to traditional Chinese culture, I am the only person belong to Xu family. I am the only one whose children will have the family name of Xu. And after my female cousins get married, they will belong to other families whose children don’t have the family name of Xu. Therefore, they are not members of Xu family.

So my grandma likes me very much and thinks that I am the only successor of Xu family. When I was six months old, my grandma took me to Shanghai from Xinjiang and I have lived with my grandma since I was little.

I studied in a primary school in Beijing when I was in first and second grades. And my older female cousin also studied in that school. I studied in a Shanghai primary school when I was in third grade. I studied in Xinjang from fourth grade to ninth grade. When I was in ninth grade, I could go back to Shanghai along according to the policy at that time. Afterwards, I entered high school and college successively in Shanghai.

My grandma is the person who loves me most. She left everything including her house to me.

But my grandma is most strict. She has the highest authority in my family. She is strict and particular with others.

My grandma used to beat me with feather duster and other objects. I already forgot what mistakes I made.

I know I have been obeying her words since I was little. But my grandma still beat me for trivial matters.

My grandma used to highlight with tears “be a good person, never be a bad person”.

I feel I have mental diseases owing to her harm, which can be called “good person paranoia”. i have been telling myself “be a good person, never be a bad person”.

That is why I wrote the book. I should be a good person and should not be a bad person, so I suffered a lot. I have been thinking why a good person should be treated like that. I have been making complaints to god. Why does the world treat good persons like that? I accused all unfair things in the world to god and require god to answer me.

I will prove to god that the past sayings of god are all wrong. I want to accuse the whole world.

My book records the communication results between god and me and god’s answers.